


The copycat's no good very bad day

by BloodySpade0000



Series: L.O.V.E [6]
Category: Durarara!!, Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack Crossover, Crack Treated Seriously, Established Relationship, Fever, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, Romance, Ryouta calling Shougo baby is a thing now and nobody can convince me otherwise, Ryouta's a closted prevert, Shou's a grumpy baby, Shou's big brother is overprotective af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:28:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28631778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodySpade0000/pseuds/BloodySpade0000
Summary: Ryouta prayed to whatever god was up there that he would not die
Relationships: Haizaki Shougo/Kise Ryouta, Hisashi's stolen car getting friendzoned by a flying vending machine
Series: L.O.V.E [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1790140
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	The copycat's no good very bad day

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Isn't it lovely?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25590835) by [BloodySpade0000](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodySpade0000/pseuds/BloodySpade0000). 



> This was originally supposed to be a Durarara oneshot but I was like nah. It fits Kihai more. Also, Shougo's older brother's name is Hisashi okay cuz I like the name and Tadatoshi Fujimaki didn't bother naming him and I had too. And Ryouta has a cat.

  
"What the hell...?" Ryouta awoke to the sound of loud banging coming from his door. At first, he thought it was his neighbours complaining about his cat leaving a dead bird on their driveway again, until he realized he didn't let him out last night and that the furball was probably busy ripping up toilet paper, which meant it wasn't his neighbours pissed off out their minds. But, someone else had decided that it would be a great idea to show up at his place at—

Ryouta shot a look at his alarm clock.

  
7: 00 AM.

  
He rubbed his eyes and glanced at it again to make sure he was looking at the right time. When it changed to 7: 01 AM, it confirmed that it was indeed Seven in the morning, and someone else other than his neighbours were crazy enough to bang on his door. Like—

  
"Oi, ya yellow fucker!" A familiar voice yelled, followed by the rattling sound of his door being kicked. "Open the god damn door so I can kick yer fuckin' ass!"

  
"Whyyyy?" Ryouta groaned, pulling the covers over his head. Why was Hisashi at his doorstep? What did he do to piss him off so early in the morning? Didn't Hisashi have a job or at least kids to bully for their lunch money? Or—

  
"I said open the fuckin' door!" Hisashi growled, giving the door another kick. "Or else, I'll break it down!"

  
"If you break my door, you're going to have to pay for it!" Ryouta yelled back, standing up and dragging himself to the front door. He opened it, his cat escaping on a mission to kill a bird or whatever he did once out. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

  
"Does it look like I fuckin' care?" Hisashi snapped, glaring down at him. "I came to kick yer fuckin' ass, not to chat."

  
"Why?" Ryouta raised an eyebrow. "I don't—"

  
"I told, didn't I?" Hisashi cut in sharply. "If ya made my baby brother cry, I would give ya an ass-whoopin'."

  
"Who?" Ryouta's lips tightened into a thin line. It took him three seconds to realize who Hisashi was talking about because the only person Hisashi called baby brother was—

  
"Shougo, ya dumbass." Hisashi rolled his eyes. "Who else?"

  
"O-Oh." Ryouta bit his lip, glancing at the ground. Guilt weighed down on him like a ton of bricks. He hadn't meant to make him cry. Ryouta had thought Shougo would get over it like he usually did when they fought, and then things would go back to normal. But, Ryouta should have known better. This one had been different, instead of it ending with either of them walking out to cool off. Ryouta had said something insensitive. He wished he could take back. Wished he could have just kept his mouth shut. Dammit—"I'm such a jerk."

  
"Ya no shit," Hisashi remarked, rubbing salt in his already gaping wound. "He won't get out of his room, so fuckin' apologize." And before Ryouta could even say or do anything. He was being dragged out of his house, and being shoved into a car before Hisashi got into the driver's seat and started driving.

  
Whoever allowed Hisashi to drive had either been high off their ass or plain stupid because Hisashi could not drive even if his life depended on it. He drove like a maniac, speeding down the street as if he were in fast and furious, breaking every rule in the driver's handbook. Ryouta was surprised they hadn't been pulled over by now because he was pretty sure Hisashi had crossed at least three red lights. And—

  
Hiashi slammed the break causing Ryouta to hit his head on the dashboard. He rubbed his forehead and shot a glare at him. "What the—" A flying vending machine flew over the car, shredding metal and shattering glass as it flipped over onto the ashplant beside them.

  
"Fuck!" Hisashi finished his sentence.

  
"T-That was close," Ryouta added, laughing nervously. His life had flashed before his eyes. If they had been in the vending machine's trajectory, they would have been dead or at least Hisashi's car, which he was pretty sure didn't belong to Hisashi.

Ryouta was about to ask if he had stolen it until the familiar yell of:

  
"IIIIIIIZZZZZZAAAAAAYAAAAAA!" Was heard not too far from them, and obviously not wanting to be caught in the crossfire of one of Shizuo and Izaya's notorious fights. Hisashi started driving again or more like driving as if Satan himself was hot on his tail while Ryouta tightened his belt, fearing for his life and praying to whatever god was up there that he would not die.

  
Or at least the car did not do next Final Destination shit and get smashed in by a wild log, flying off of a truck with other logs. Recreating the route 23 pile up scene that made Ryouta fear driving past or behind trucks. Especially one with logs.

  
Oh, shit. Did they just pass a truck?

Ryouta started rocking back and forth. "I'm too young to die!" He couldn't die yet. He still had to apologize to Shougo, and he still hasn't convinced Shougo to do a photoshoot with him or wear a sexy bunny outfit in between his—

Ryouta went from fearing for his life to horny teenager in five seconds flat. But, then went back to fearing for his life as Hisashi sent him a death glare, as if he knew exactly what was going on in Ryouta's head and was about ready to throw him out of the car, and run him over.

Ryouta shivered. He wished Shougo was here, so he could protect him from Hisashi cause Hisashi secretly plotted his demise when Shougo was around. Instead of doing it upfront. And—

  
"If yer thinkin' about fuckin' my baby brother...." The temperature in the car went down so fast, it would put winters in Canada to shame. "I'll kill you."

  
"I—" Ryouta coughed, face going 50 shades of red. "I don't know what you're talking about. You're being delusional, Hisashicchi." If he wasn't dead before, he was dead now. Deader than dead.

  
"Yer lucky the squirt puts up with ya," Hisashi remarked, pulling up in front of the house he and Shougo lived in. "Or ya'd be buried alive."

  
"You're just jealous that I'm stealing all his attention from you," Ryouta said, sticking out his tongue, and before Hisashi could kill him. He dashed out of the car.

  
Unfortunately, he was hit in the head by the house keys. "What the fuck!?" He glared at Hisashi. "The—"

  
"I'm gonna go grocery shoppin'," Hisashi told him. "Ya better not do anythin' while I'm gone." He then drove off with the tires screeching.

Ryouta bent down and picked up the house keys, cursing Hisashi under his breath. He climbed the stairs and unlocked the front door before opening and closing it behind him. Ryouta headed to Shougo's room and stopped in front of the door. "Shougocchi?" He spoke, knocking on it. "Baby, are you going to let me in?" All he got in response was silence. Ryouta frowned. "Your brother's gone grocery shopping. It's just me." Silence. He tried knocking again. Silence. Silence. Silence. Silence. He called Shougo's cell phone and when it went straight to voicemail. Ryouta started to panic. Shougo never got this way after a fight. Sure, he gave him the cold shoulder. But, it was never like this. Ever.

  
Fuck. There was a chance Shougo couldn't make it to the door, a list of horrible situations went through his head. What if—

Ryouta shook his head. No. Hisashi wouldn't have dragged him here if that was the case. Ya... He took a shuddering breath. Shougo was probably sleeping. Yet...It didn't put him at ease. Shougo never slept in.

His hands shook as he reached for the doorknob and twisted it, pushing the door open. He slowly closed it behind him and tiptoed across the room, being extra careful not to wake up Shougo. Ryouta's been with him long enough to know that he barely got any sleep.

Blankets piled on the bed, the only indication that Shougo was underneath was the lump on the bed. Ryouta hovered over it, trying to determine if Shougo was breathing or not. "Shougocchi?" He exclaimed loudly. "If you're still alive, move or say something." When Shougo did not move, Ryouta hesitated as he sat down beside him. He poked the blankets and had to stop himself from sighing in relief as they shifted.

  
"Baby, if you don't talk to me, I'll cry." He poked him again. "You're breaking my heart, you know?"

  
"You're stuuuuuupid, d'nt touch me," Shougo grumbled, swatting him away as if he were a fly. "I'll catch the stupid."

  
Ryouta's eye twitched. "You little shit." He jabbed him in the side. "Who are you calling stupid?"

  
"G'way, Baldy...." Shougo buried himself deeper into the blankets. "...I don't wanna wear a maid's outfit."

  
Ryouta snorted. An image of Shougo in a maid's outfit flashed through his mind. If he got him to go to a photoshoot with him, he would remember to convince ***cough*** blackmail ***cough*** Shougo to wear one. Ryouta made a mental note to ask one of his sisters if they had one. Knowing them, one of them probably did. "You'd look sexy in a maid's outfit." Ryouta smirked. "Or a bunny outfit."

  
Shougo muttered something incoherent as he pulled the blankets down. "Routa..." He reached out for him with a needy sniffle and hazy eyes. 

  
_'So cute.'_ Ryouta had to stop himself from smothering him. "I'm right here," He murmured softly. "I'm here, baby. I got you."

  
"Dn't leave..." Shougo wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into the bed and burying his face into his chest. "...Staaaay."

  
"I will, Teddy Bear~." Ryouta pulled him closer and then frowned. He could feel the heat radiating off of Shougo despite the barrier between their clothes. Ryouta placed the back of his palm to Shougo's forehead. His frown deepened. "You're burning up."

  
"I'm sorry..." Shougo sniffed, shivering. "I—"

  
"No, baby. Don't apologize." Ryouta held him closer, pulling the blankets over them. "I'm sorry, I should have known." Shougo got overly sensitive when he was sick. Anything could set him off. It explained why he had snapped at Ryouta four days ago over nothing, which escalated into a fight that would have never started if Ryouta just—

  
"It's okay..." Shougo mumbled. "I love you."

  
"Awww, baby. I love you too~." Ryouta kissed the top of his head, smothering him. "Wear a maid's outfit for me."

  
"Routa..." Shougo buried his face in the crook of his neck, trying but failing miserably in hiding his blushing face. "...Shuuut uuup."

  
Ryouta laughed. "Is that a yes?"

  
Shougo shoved him off the bed. "Die!"

**Author's Note:**

> I'll probably come up with a backstory to this about why Shougo lives with only his older brother in Ikebukuro and how Shougo and Ryouta even ended up together. Maybe. 
> 
> Pls comment and tell me ur feelings. Give me some love. 💕⚘😊


End file.
